Balanced Parenting Newsletter

The Blessing of Discomfort                                                           November, 2009

In This Issue
A Special Request!
Bette's Speaking Engagements
The Power of Discomfort
Coffee with Bette
Potty Training Made Easy!
Balanced Parenting's Special Request
I am creating some new classes and products and would love your help!
What parenting topics are most burning for you?
What is driving you crazy with your kids?
What phrases are you tired of hearing or tired of saying over and over?
Just email me with the words "new classes" in the subject line and share your family's biggest frustrations.
Thank you in advance for your help!  
Speaking Engagements
November 6th
Born Learners Preschool 
November 12th 
Little Dreamers Preschool
Many more in the works! 
I am now scheduling speaking engagements for the coming school year.
 I would be honored to be introduced to your school, group, or company!  
"Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."


If you enjoy reading this newsletter, please feel free to forward it to your friends.
If you have any thoughts, suggestions, class ideas, article requests, constructive criticism or otherwise great ideas, feel free to let us know! 

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Balanced Parenting
Hello, Friends,
I'm enjoying this fall day, and I hope you are, too! The weather will change soon, the leaves are blowing off of the trees, the days are getting shorter and the holidays will be here before you know it.  Enjoy each day and savor the moments with your family. 
Wishing you balance,
"Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new." Brian Tracy
When our kids are born, it's our first job to keep them comfortable. When they cry, we need to figure out what is bothering them and solve it.  It's actually very gratifying to calm a crying baby.  When they're hungry, we feed them.  When they're wet, we change them.  When they're lonely, we hold them.  There's no feeling that compares to a baby snuggling happily to your neck especially after he has been crying. 
At some point, though, as parents, it becomes our job to allow our kids to experience their discomfort and not jump in and fix it for them.  In fact, sometimes, we are the source of their discomfort when we have to say "no".   
Teaching our children to tolerate their own discomfort is the greatest gift we can give our kids.
As parents, we have to be able to model this by tolerating our kids' discomfort ourselves.  Many parents will give into their children's requests or demands not because it's the right thing to do, but more often because it's too hard to listen to them be unhappy about our decisions.
Discomfort, however,  is a huge motivator!  For example, if your child really wants that toy at the store, after you have already said "no", let him be with his own discomfort so he can then decide to bring his own money with him the next time, or even earn money helping around the house so he can get that much-loved toy.  When your kids are fighting over the video games, for example, they are showing you that they are making a choice to fight rather than to compromise.  Taking the video games away  teaches them through the discomfort of losing that privilege, that hopefully they can make a different choice next time. 
Life is filled with discomfort!  Even the greatest jobs and the happiest relationships have moments of great discomfort.  The more we can give our kids the skills to handle those rough moments, the better equipped they will be as adults. 
I challenge you all to allow your kids to feel the sting of their bad choices - a little for little ones and to a greater degree for big kids.  Don't step in if they get into trouble at school. Let them suffer the consequences of real life.
They'll be glad you did!
Coffee with Bette  coffee cup
Our next Coffee with Bette will be Tuesday, November 3rd from 9:30 to 11 A.M. at Chocolatine in Thousand Oaks.  Come ask me your parenting questions in one of my favorite settings!  Have a latte and a pastry and some stimulating parenting chat!  Check out my website for the full address.   
Balanced Parenting Website 
Parents, kids, grandparents - everyone is welcome! 
We meet the first Tuesday of the month, every month!
P.S.  Don't forget, the parenting advice is free, but the coffee and pastries are not.  :)

Balanced Parenting's
Groups and Classes
Our On-Going Group for
Parents of Preschoolers
will meet next on 
November 11, 2009
7:30 - 9:00 P.M.
 in my Thousand Oaks office
We meet monthly for learning and support
This is an open group.
Everyone is welcome! 
 $20.00 per month per person
$30.00 per couple
  Our On-Going Group for 
 Parents of Teens and Tweens
will meet next
Wed., October 28, 2009
7:30 - 9:00 P.M.
in my Thousand Oaks Office 
This group will be on hiatus for the months of
November and December and will resume in January
This is an open group.
Everyone is welcome!
 $20.00 per month per person
$30.00 per couple
To R.S.V.P. for any of these groups, or for further information, please e-mail
or call 805-230-2464
Feel free to pass along the information to anyone you know who might be interested!
We all need support!
Introducing the:
Balanced Parenting Learning Library


I'm going to be holding a webinar on:
Potty Training Made Easy 
on Thursday, November 19th from 10:00 to 11:00 A.M. PST.  The cost will be at the introductory low price of $10 to attend or download this webinar. 
"What's a webinar?", you might ask! This webinar will be an opportunity to attend a class on potty training from the comfort of your own home or web-enabled phone.  You will follow along with the PowerPoint presentation online and listen in on your phone.  If you're unable to attend the webinar, it will be recorded and you can purchase a DVD or downloadable file and learn about potty training at your convenience.
Isn't this cool?  I'm very excited to add this new technology into my classes, enabling more people to participate.  This will be the first in what I hope will become a huge "Balanced Parenting Learning Library" available anytime from anywhere!