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Balanced Parenting Newsletter

The Obvious Result of Spanking                                                    May, 2010                  

In This Issue
The Obvious Effects of Spanking...
Coffee with Bette
Support for Parents
The Oops of Poops!
Balanced Parenting
To better provide parenting education to you all, please take just a minute to answer a few questions and make your voice heard!
Just email your thoughts to me at
1. Would you be interested in attending parenting workshops? If yes, what days and times are best.
2. What topics would most interest you?
3. What age group would you most like me to address in a workshop?
4. Would you be interested in a multi-part class to go deeper into the topic?
 5. Would you subscribe to a written parent education program?
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"Silence is a true friend
who never betrays."



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Hello, All, and welcome to our many new subscribers! As always, I hope you find this to be an enjoyable and helpful newsletter.
Ok, truth be told, I'm hoping that I can trouble you for your help this month, as well.
In this newsletter is a short survey that will help me to offer classes, products, etc... that will be of interest to you all.
Happy Spring, May flowers, and...
Wishing you balance,
The Obvious Effects of Spanking
ABCNEWS.COM reported two weeks ago that three-year-olds who are spanked are more likely to be aggressive as five-year-olds. 
If you've ever heard me speak or spent any time talking about parenting with me, you know that I'm not at all surprised by the new study. 
Spanking is what I call a "tool of desperation". If you insist on keeping it in your parenting tool belt, please consider using 1,000 other tools before resorting to spanking.
Here's why:
  • Spanking teaches kids to resort to hitting when they're frustrated.
  • Spanking is an unfair way that parents take back their power when they are feeling powerless with their kids.
  • Kids sense this and know that you're desperate causing them to take advantage of your desperation in the future.
  • Spanking instills fear, rather than teaching respect and healthy coping skills.
  • Spanking teaches violence.
The best interventions with our kids are interventions that teach them how to behave in ways that will be helpful to them 30 years from now.
If we teach them how to tolerate their frustration by modeling healthy coping skills when WE get frustrated, we are giving them a gift that lasts forever, rather than the instantaneous sting of a spanking - even if it might work for the moment.
Coffee with Bette  coffee cup
Our next Coffee with Bette is tomorrow, Tuesday, May 4th from 9:30 to 11 A.M. at Chocolatine in Thousand Oaks.  Come ask me your parenting questions in one of my favorite settings!  Have a latte and a pastry and some stimulating parenting chat!  Check out my website for the full address.  
Parents, kids, grandparents - everyone is welcome! 
We meet the first Tuesday of the month, every month!
Balanced Parenting Website 
P.S.  Don't forget, the parenting advice is free, but the coffee and pastries are not.  :)

Our On-Going Group for
Parents of Preschoolers
will meet next on 
Wednesday, May 12th, 2010
7:30 - 9:00 P.M.
 in my Thousand Oaks office
We meet monthly for learning and support
This is an open group.
Everyone is welcome! 
 $20.00 per month per person
$30.00 per couple
To R.S.V.P., or for further information, please e-mail
or call 805-230-2464
Feel free to pass along the information to anyone you know who might be interested!
We all need support!
Introducing the:
Balanced Parenting Learning Library

POTTY LEARNING: The Do's, Don'ts and the Oops of Poops

 An e-book by
Bette Alkazian, LMFT (that's me!)

Whether you've already accomplished this task with your kids or not, you know what a frustrating time potty training can be.   

If you're somewhere in the process, not yet ready to begin or long past it, but know someone else, this e-book is a great resource!

 Go to my website and click on the Learning Library to purchase this e-book for only $9.99.