Click here for past Newsletters

Balanced Parenting Newsletter

Teaching Independence                                                                   July, 2010                  

In This Issue
Every day can be Independence Day!
Coffee with Bette
Support for Parents
The Oops of Poops!
Thank you for reading this newsletter. 
Feel free to make suggestions anytime!
Watch for a new series of classes coming in January of 2011 based upon your suggestions.
Follow me on Twitter
Click here to become a fan of Balanced Parenting on Facebook
"Good words are worth much and cost little."

George Herbert


If you enjoy reading this newsletter, please feel free to forward it to your friends.
If you have any thoughts, suggestions, class ideas, article requests, constructive criticism or otherwise great ideas, feel free to let us know! 
I trust that you are having a warm and wonderful summer!  If not, what can you do to kick things up a notch?  Perhaps take a day off of work and take the whole family to the beach, or plan a day at the zoo!
Don't let this summer go by without enjoying the freedom and the long, sunny days!
Happy 4th of July!!!
Wishing you balance,
Making every day Independence Day in your house! 
"I'm bored!"
"Come with me!"
"Will you play with me?"
"I neeeeeeed you!"
How often are these words uttered in your house? Many of our kids are dependent upon us to entertain them, mostly because we have taught them that we are willing to do so.
My oldest daughter thought that my full-time job was to play with her, entertain her, get her snacks and to serve her every whim within seconds of her recognizing said whim. Thankfully, after the arrival of my second daughter, I figured out the importance of teaching independence and self-reliance.
These lessons begin with very young children. Letting them play by themselves for a period of time, several times a day is a great place to start. 
As kids get older, allowing them to wait a while before granting their requests and delaying their gratification is a valuable tool. 
Also, when your child needs to accomplish something, don't jump in too quickly to do it for them, nor should we be too quick to solve their problems.  The more we expect
our kids to figure things out on their own or to be resourceful on their own behalf, the stronger their independence and self-reliance muscles become, preparing them for the times when we won't be there to pick up the pieces as they get older. 
Some parents really enjoy being needed by their kids, and I totally get that!  The problem arises when we are doing too much for our kids that they are capable of doing for themselves, thereby communicating to them our lack of faith in their capabilities. 
Today, practice trusting your children to do a little more for themselves than yesterday. Remember, that they don't have to do it right the first time and will learn from every experience - successful, frustrating or otherwise!
Happy Independence Day!!!
Coffee with Bette  coffee cup
Our next Coffee with Bette is this Tuesday, July 6th from 9:30 to 11 A.M. at Chocolatine in Thousand Oaks.  Come ask me your parenting questions in one of my favorite settings! 
Have a latte and a pastry and some stimulating parenting chat!  Check out my website for the full address.  
Parents, kids, grandparents - everyone is welcome! 
We meet the first Tuesday of the month, every month!
Balanced Parenting Website 
P.S.  Don't forget, the parenting advice is free, but the coffee and pastries are not.  :)

Our On-Going Group for
Parents of Preschoolers
will meet next on 
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010
7:30 - 9:00 P.M.
 in my Thousand Oaks office
We meet monthly for learning and support
This is an open group.
Everyone is welcome! 
 $35.00 per person
$50.00 per couple
(Yes, the price went up! I promised my business coach I would raise the price. 
 She's a great coach and the group is still a great value!) 
To R.S.V.P., or for further information, please e-mail
or call 805-230-2464
Feel free to pass along the information to anyone you know who might be interested!
Introducing the:
Balanced Parenting Learning Library
Coming Soon...
Raising Our Kids to Become Fabulous Adults
Stay tuned for more information!

POTTY LEARNING: The Do's, Don'ts and the Oops of Poops

 An e-book by
Bette Alkazian, LMFT (that's me!)

Whether you've already accomplished this task with your kids or not, you know what a frustrating time potty training can be.   

If you're somewhere in the process, not yet ready to begin or long past it, but know someone else, this e-book is a great resource!

 Go to my website and click on the Learning Library to purchase this e-book for only $9.99.
 Also available in hard copy at