Our Kids Are Little Mirrors?
We often hear that parenting is the hardest job in the world. For so many reasons, of course. One of the hardest parts of the job is when our kids remind us of someone with whom we have a challenging relationship or worse – the worst part of ourselves – and we struggle to know how to deal with them. How can I be the model parent when every hot button I have is being pushed? As parents, we take every word and every action personally and our coping skills go out the window along with all rationality. We find ourselves yelling and saying things we know we shouldn’t say and then feeling bad about it later. Who’s been there? I know I have! (Raising my hand)
Our kids are little mirrors of the worst parts of our selves. What are we supposed to do in those moments when the tops of our heads are blowing off; they just won’t listen or they just won’t stop being annoying…defiant…stubborn…and acting just like us!?
That’s where the hard work of parenting comes in!
- Our work is to stay calm and to be patient when our kids are just doing THEIR jobs of testing the limits and well, being kids.
- We have to remember not to take their behavior personally. They are not TRYING to make our heads blow off even though it seems as though they are.
- They are learning all the time from our responses and reactions. They are learning from us how to tolerate frustration. They are watching and taking it all in.
- The greatest thing they can learn during these especially difficult moments is how to be vulnerable. If we can model for them an awareness that we see ourselves in their behavior and that we are doing our own best every day to learn and to grow and to be self-aware, they, too will learn and grow and be self-aware. Plus, that vulnerability leads to greater connectedness in our relationships with them. Don’t miss this beautiful opportunity!
Wishing you balance,
Bette Alkazian, LMFT
Balanced Parenting |
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 Coffee with Bette
Westlake Village
1st Tuesday of the Month
August 4th
at 9:30am - 11:00am
The Stonehaus
(corner of Agoura Road and Lakeview Canyon)
Bring your children, friends and most burning parenting questions.
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 Bette on Amazon
Parenting Backwards is that manual that you have been looking for that didn't come with your kids at the start! A readable handbook that helps you to be purposeful about your parenting, thoughtful about your goals and supports you to follow through even when the going gets tough. Parenting Backwards on Amazon. |
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 Coffee with Bette in the Valley
Encino
3rd Thursday of the Month
August 20th
at 9:30 am - 11:00 am
Aroma Bakery and Café
in Encino
(Ventura Blvd just east of Lindley)
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 Potty Learning -Also on Amazon
Potty Learning: The Do's, Don'ts and the Oops of Poops! This book is designed to help parents deal with the questions and frustrations that often accompany the experience of toilet training their child(ren). Potty Learning on Amazon. |
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 Parent Support Group
Westlake Village
August 12th
7:30pm - 9:30pm
Bette Alkazian MFT's office
2277 Townsgate Road Suite 214-b
Westlake Village, CA 91361
New format - see below - Discussion Topic - LOVE
Please RSVP to ensure we have enough chairs!
There will be chocolate!
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 Bette and other Parenting Experts on Momipedia
An amazing additional resource for parenting questions by amazing experts. Also, see Bette and her colleagues answer common questions on Momipedia |
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New News and
Upcoming Events!
Wisdom Wednesdays - on Momipedia
Bette has expanded her role at Momipedia and will now be posting every Wednesday - for Wisdom Wednesdays - Take a look by connected here to this valuable resource. - Now new content weekly!
Teen and Technology Summit
This informational virtual summit begins August 4 and runs for 21 days. I am proud to be one of the many guest speakers helping to guide parents of teenage daughters through the Social Media and Technological jungle.
Click here to reserve your spot at "Parenting Teens In The Social Media Era Summit" (It takes less than 2 minutes.)
Parent Support Group - Discussion Topic
We are going to start having discussion topics. This month the topic will be LOVE - How to show love, what if you don't always feel love, what about when your children don't always act lovable...the joys and challenges of love while raising kids.
Now booking speaking engagements
Please if you have had a positive experience, spread the word! Schools, churches, synagogues and community centers, and parenting groups. I love to help, listen and guide parents to balance and happiness.
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